Getting Started

DISCLAIMER - Some of the things written on this website may be exaggerations. The reader is advised to not take everything I say too seriously, and consider any point she thinks is bullshit as something I must have written after drinking a glass of Crapwater.

Oh who am I kidding. EVERYTHING WRITTEN HERE IS THE TRUTH. This is meant to be a serious document, and HAS TO BE TREATED THE SAME WAY. Put on a serious face and start reading.

Did you put on a serious face? STOP SMILING, YOU GOOFBALL! Oh, you did? Okay, my apologies. Let's begin.

Welcome.

If you've come here, you're Pragya. No one else has access to this website.

This is Pragya's world, and everyone else is just living in it. However, entities like Pragya are diminishing day by day.

The world of Pragya runs on the Principle of the Cardinal Triangle. 

The Three Pillars of the Cardinal Triangle are as follows -

1. Bhaav
2. Bhaav
3. Bhaav

All the three pillars of the Cardinal Triangle are equally important, and must work together in tandem to ensure the survival of Pragya. Removal of even one pillar from the Triangle would disrupt the very foundations of Pragya's existence.

While you might think it is very easy to be Pragya's friend, it is extremely essential to maintain a balance of the three pillars. And mastering the art to do so requires intricate skill and knowledge about who Pragya is as a person.

This website is a brief guide to becoming a friend of the human equivalent of a gunny bag that is Pragya.

Navigating through the blog, you will find descriptions and detailings about Pragya's qualities, what she likes, what she does not like, and much more. 

This blog, however, is made with a much more ulterior motive.

Two years of knowing her is not enough to celebrate the wonder of Pragya completely. This blog has not reached its end, and it shall keep getting updated at certain intervals, maybe once or twice every year.

Meanwhile, dear Pragya, I hope you continue to exist. And I hope you keep getting all the bhaav that you need to exist.

By the way, the comment section is all for you. Feel free to drop one in any time you want :)

Hope you like reading whatever crap I've filled this blog with!

Cheers!

The Vicious Cycle of Telling Emo Things to Pragya

Pragya is an extremely sly and devious creature. 

Not a lot of people know this, but when someone becomes reallyyyy good friends with Pragya, she releases this extremely poisonous and addictive substance that traps them under a spell for life. This highly lethal neurotoxin goes directly into your brain and destroys the inhibitory synapses of your limbic system.

Which means there is nothing stopping your emotions from flowing without inhibitions.

Sounds familiar?

Pragya is basically the real-life version of Poison Ivy from the DC comics.
She is the supervillain that slowly but surely takes out every single feeling inside you, and you don't even realise it because it feels good.

I have already mentioned in one of the previous anecdotes, about how being friends with Pragya makes you want to shower her with all the love in the world. But trying to do so comes with a few of Pragya's quirks.

If you are emotional and you want to tell Pragya how wonderful she is, there is a huge risk of getting trapped in a vicious cycle. This vicious cycle follows Pragya's Brainfreeze Theorem, as shown below. I am just as good at my handwriting as Pragya is while replying to heartfelt messages, so please pardon my handwriting. 

Click the picture below and zoom in to read.

If you are trapped in this vicious cycle of being emotional because of Pragya's existence in your life, welcome to the club. Once you are inside this cycle, there is no possible return to normalcy.

And the funniest thing is - Pragya has no reply to such emotional outbursts of affection because they are so emotional, even though they make her feel good BECAUSE THEY ARE SO EMOTIONAL.


Dear Pragya, if you're reading this -

I know how you feel when I transfer my emo feelings towards you all of a sudden. And the way you awkwardly respond with a stupid emoji makes you all the more adorable.

So although I’ve written this anecdote and made fun of this quirk of yours, and although it is my life goal to make you a tiny bit more expressive, I kinda wish you continue awkardly replying to such texts by emojis. 

In a strange way, it feels good :)

Pragya - The Multitalented Queen

Here's the thing - Pragya is a really, really smart cookie.

She knows stuff. You can talk about the world with her all day. You can share with her both your nerdy stuff, and your sick, twisted humour.

She is awesome at poems, at quizzes, at discussions and at debates.

She reads and she writes.
She is great at art, and she's a cook.
She is amazing at arranging her things, she has the sexiest handwriting, and she maintains practical journals to die for.

Also, her recommendations ARE. ALWAYS. SPOT ON.

And I know I've missed quite a few of her other talents.

Oh yes, I remembered one - she can drive a car for miles all by herself on highways.

Still the list looks incomplete to me.

She is the know-it-all and the do-it-all even she has no idea about.

And being Pragya's friend, you may sometimes feel the need to scream out your lungs to let people know about all the things she is wonderful at, because she's too lazy to do it herself. She's anyway lazy enough to keep her talents hidden in college.

Pragya - A Unit of Time

Pragya absolutely looooooooooooves reallllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy loooooooooooooong conversations.

Which in retrospect is kinda ironic considering she is always the one to end every single reallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy loooooooooooooooooong conversation.
But more on that later.

This is about her love for long, beautiful convos.

If you are fortunate enough to land up in Pragya's good books, you're in for a treat. Because Pragya is a frickin' goldmine of soulful conversations. One slight tug of sentiment, and the next thing that would happen is both of you pouring your hearts out even before you realise what is happening.

Talking with Pragya also comes with its own set of laws of physics. This is because time runs differently when you have a heartful conversation with her. Studies have found that talking with Pragya makes you lose track of time so much that fundamental units of time such as 'minutes' or 'hours' lose their sense of identity altogether.

It is therefore imperative to understand that the world around you experiences time dilation when you talk with Pragya. The speed of the passage of time increases without possible explanation. An hour passes by without you ever needing to look at the clock.

Such disturbances in the fabric of nature have not gone unnoticed by the scientific fraternity. Physicists have proposed to devise a new unit of time - the Pragya Unit - to measure passage of time during conversations with Pragya.

And the equation's pretty simple to understand. One Pragya Unit equals one instance during the conversation when you have this sudden urge to shower her with all the positive adjectives in the English language.

Normally, a soulful conversation with Pragya measures around 100-200 Pragya units.

Pragya The Conversation Killer

Pragya is the ultimate convo assassin. SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVES ending conversations. I feel she has a thing for it. I feel she thrives on being the one to say "Chal ab mai ja rahi hoon", or "Bye bye".

Sometimes, one cannot help but think what is keeping Pragya so busy in her life, that she so religiously works to maintain a 100 per cent record of ending EVERY GODDAMN conversation.

Is she secretly an espionage agent?
Did she join MBBS only as a cover for her main job?

Does she end conversations all the time because she has to do some top secret spy-stuff at night, and when we all go to sleep, she opens her laptop and wears a hoodie and turns into a professional hacker to hack into the government's nuclear codes?

I shall ask her this when we meet again.

Pragya and Her Obsession With the 'Dancing Girl' Emoji

Why oh why, my dear Pragya? Why are you SO RIDICULOUSLY OBSESSED with the dancing girl emoji?

The dancing girl emoji is Pragya's token reply to -

1. Good nights, good mornings and bye byes

2. Any other message you can possibly think of

3. Heart messages

SHE REPLIES WITH A DANCING GIRL EMOJI TO HEART MESSAGES!

Girl, that warm, fuzzy red heart is meant to signify love!

Basically this is what she means when she replies to heart messages with a dancing girl emoji -

"Hey random friend who I'm forced to talk to right now,
Since you've sent me a red, fuzzy, lovable heart, LOOK AT THIS GIRL IN RED DRESS DANCING! THIS IS ME! THIS IS HOW I DANCE! I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS IS HOW I DANCE! FUCK YOUR RED HEART, I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR RED HEART! ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO KNOW HOW I DANCE! AND THIS IS HOW I SHALL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE! SUCK ON THAT!"

Pragya and Her Dumb Roasts

Pragya sucks at foulmouthing people. She thinks she's good at landing sick burns and sly retorts while the reality is that all she does is give dumb comebacks just to stay in the game.

Here is a list of all her pointless "comebacks" any time you plan to have a roast session with her -

"You think very highly of yourself don't you"
"You think you are very funny don't you"
"You are not worthy of my time"
"You suck"
"Is this the best you could come up with?"
A random gif
Tongue emoji

All Pragya does is ini-mini-maini-mo and choose one of these "comebacks" as a reply to absolutely any well-structured burn you put so much thought into. And half the time, her replies make no sense at all.

Seriously Pragya, for the love of God and everything I hold dear, please give up thinking you can ever win at a roasting session. You know you won't. You know it in your heart.

The Pragya Coefficient of Emotional Stimulus

Pragya is emotional.
Very, very emotional.

And even though it's a beautiful thing, she probably won't tell this often. This is because of something called the 'Pragya Coefficient of Emotional Stimulus'.

If you plan on being friends with Pragya, it is important that you know about this coefficient. Basically, Pragya's emotions have a certain threshold beyond which they start getting expressed. The threshold of Pragya's expressiveness is directly related to the stimulus she receives from you.

One of the bestest qualities Pragya has is that with her, you'll always feel very easy to open up, because when it comes to emotion, she is wonderful at complementing your happinesses and sadnesses with her own.

Believe me, she is the best emotional guardian you'll ever have.

Personal Letter

Dearest favourite person

Honestly, I don't know where to start. 

Surprisingly, this part of the blog was the toughest part for me to write because this part of the blog is the one you know the most about. 

This is the most predictable piece on the entire website. 

Never has it ever happened that I thought about our friendship and I did not smile. I don't really remember how or when we hit off. I don't seem to recall how or when we started sharing things that are close to us. And I certainly don't remember how or when I realised you were not just another good friend of mine.

From calling you at 9:30 pm from Spandan just so I can say you a hi, to our conversations being almost like a daily routine nowadays, we surely have come a long way. Which seems funny because we got to know each other so well SO QUICKLY! Considering how little I knew you before 2nd year happened, I cannot help but giggle with joy upon the fact that we got to learn so much about each other in such a short span of time.

I have written so many long letters to tell you each time about a different aspect of your nature that I love. I have said "I love you" to you so many times, and every single time, it has been for a different reason, for a different quality of yours that I cherish.

And yet, I always feel there is a piece of your nature that still deserves to be celebrated. Every time I plan on writing something, I always feel that what I've written is not enough. That you deserve more love than mere words.

And maybe that is the wonder of you.

So while I thought what to write in this part of the blog, I said to myself, "What is it that I should tell Praggu that she doesn't already know?"

What part of our friendship should I celebrate on your birthday today?

It's this - 

You, my dear friend, have made me a better person.

I know, this small sentence probably comes out as something pretty generic. But picture this - 

We are sitting together at say the centre of Spandan. It's almost 11 and it's time for you to go. We've just finished venting out every sort of emotion that exists in the world, and we could have gone on and on if not for the time. I feel really happy, like I always do after talking to you. We walk to the gate of your hostel, say our "good night"s and turn away.

But then I turn again and shout - "Praggu sunn, ek last cheez kehni hai"

And then I walk up to you and say this - 

"You, my dear friend, have made me a better person. And I thank you for that."

Abhi impact aaya na?!

***

Life can be a hot mess sometimes. But with someone like you, being messy is truly beautiful.

So, my dear Yellow Lays, as you finally reach the end of the blog, I give you a flying jhappi for everything you mean to me. You know how I feel about our friendship, so I don't think I should bore you any further xD

"Mai Pragya ke saath hoon"

With true love. All of it.

- Swapna darling

Ps. Please ek photo khichva yar apni. We don't have a single pic together.